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Got a question, hope someone can answer... My Medifast menu bar dosent show, can you offer any help? Hoping for any comment. Another question I got... So when I first started looking into GBS I found a surprising statistic that 70% of couples break up after the weight loss..

I told this to my fiance and we didn't say much about it..

2 years later we had our 2nd baby and discussed the option of a visectami (sp). We went to the doctor to book an appointment and my man totally froze. Wondering what the problem was I booked myself for a tubal instead. Once we were in the vehical I confronted him as to why he was suddenly changing his mind. And he said something about what if we broke up. Well I was so sad that he thought like that, and later brought it up again..

He then told me that he remembered me telling him the statistic about the GBS (which I do not go for until Dec of this year), and he was scared I would.

Leave.

Him after....

I couldn't believe he had thought about this so much, and now feel terrible for ever saying anything about the statistic..

How do I assure him that he is the one I love? I couldnt imagine leaving him for some douche bag when he is the one who has loved me all these years just the way I am, fat or not? I told him this but I could see the doubt in his eyes... Is there any happy stories out here about marriages that grew stronger after GBS? I would love to share them with him...

Comments (15)

That's a good question. I'm not sure what is the right answer to your question. I'll do some research and get back to you if I discover an useful answer. You should email the people at Medifast as they probably could help you..

Comment #1

Yes, there are happy stories...I had.

Surgery.

5 1/2 months ago. I've lost 95 lbs and people are looking! It feels good, but what feels better is knowing that my beloved is looking. We've always had a great intimate life, but now it's even better. I've gone to great lengths to make sure that he knows that he is the only one for me. I've let him overhear me say that he is wonderful, etc. I don't flirt just because I can, etc.

It's been fun for both of us. Just because we are married and have children does not mean that insecurity can't creep in. I think it is normal for the other person to wonder if we will still be attracted to him/her after we.

Lose weight.

Lots of people love the attention they get after.

Surgery.

And don't put so much energy into the relationship they already have. They get mad when their spouse doesn't say the right things or understand or acknowledge the weight loss the way they hoped he/she would. It's just not fair. It's kind of like expecting your 10 year old only child to adjust overnight to a new set of twins in the house! Come on, there's gotta be an adjustment period, right? And, with a child, you would be careful to spend extra time alone with the older child and reassure them that they haven't been replaced, forgotten, etc. Why not apply the same tactic to your partner? You will grow closer no matter what it is that you do to work on the relationship. And lots of crazy passionate sex doesn't hurt either! Tee, hee...

Comment #2

I'm 4 months out, we have been married 19 years. I was skinny when he met me, and grew to be very fat, now going back to skinny..

I think in order for any relationship to work, you have to have trust, commitment,.

Communication.

And respect for one another. It isn't an easy road, you have to work at it. I think to many people just give up and find it easier to part, rather than work through the problems..

My hubby has always been jealous, even when I was huge. I would say it's not like they are lined up around the block to get to this. Come on now......it's a healthy jealousy though.......I know sometimes they have a very unhealthy jealousy and tend to get mean. Not mine.........he treats me like a queen, and always have..

I'm sure that if your and your fiance are willing to put in the time and.

Patience.

.......you'll do fine...

Comment #3

You show me two people who have beautiful loving sex, and I'll show you a couple that stays together..

BB.

Ps For the doubters, I said "loving"!..

Comment #4

Hi LIL,.

Huney, think statistics... everything has statistics to make them reality. I really cant belive GBS is the cause of 70% of breakups....

If your strong and feel the way you do it will last. You will grow stronger..

Sit him down and talk to him, tell him the only stastistict you will be is the 30% that make it...

Its just the odds 70/30.... which I persomnally have to laugh at....

I couldnt love Mrs Buzz more if I tried.....

You can chane his perspective of this if you just talk to him....

You love him, you tell us...tell him....

Congratulations on having someone wonderful....

Just remember to tell them occasionally, if not everyday....

All the best...

Andy aka BUZZ xx..

Comment #5

Odds are 50/50 across the board for all marriages. If a relationship is already troubled, then getting GBS and losing weight will also expose the underlying problems in the relationship. Without eating ourselves to death to cover our unhappiness, we finally get the nerve to move on. That's why it's 70/30..

You sound like you're in the 30% that will be married forever..

Now, about the vasectomy. I believe that is the real issue here, not the 70/30. My husband did not want to do it either, and came up with every excuse he could manufacture. I was hurt at first because I thought he was being so selfish. But, when I realized it was more important to him than it was to me, I accepted his "guy-thing attitude". So, I got a tubaligation after the birth of our last child, and am glad I did. No more worries, and lots of fun sex...

Comment #6

I got a roomate and we have lived to gether for 4 years I have known him for 8.

He had a vasectomy before I even knew him he said he wanted it done so he couldnt have any more kids seeing how he has 4 and they were all taken by there mothers away.

He isnt always that bad of a person he is a wonderfull father figure in my daughters life.

Me and him dont have a real rel. we got a friend ship though and he is nicer to me now that I had the gbs done.

I am going to assume that your mate dont want a vasectomy done cause he wants another baby and I am guessing that can be with you.

Even though other guys will look at you now remind him who your with which is him and thats all you want.

My x husband didnt want me to get gbs done come to find out it was cause he was a royal prick and he was cheating on me and he wanted me left on his back burner for a place to go when he screwed up.

I knew I felt this all going on I just didnt wanna believe it and my personal self respect was gone.

I didnt feel I could do better and I felt that I deserved all that I got I finally threw my hands up and walked away then finished my cancer treatments and had my gbs done I was still huge when I left him it had nothing to do with my gbs it was finding a true friend and that is who I live with and he helped me build the strenght to walk away.

Everytime I had second thought on gbs he got mad at me and was like no you need it done your daughter needs you and I am old I can die soon and she needs to have her mother and you need to do this so your here for her.

He kept pushing and pushing and encourging it and now look at me my scale said 193 this morning lol I am successfully down 131lbs almost half of me..

Comment #7

My greatest fear of WLS was that my SO, a man who avowedly loves super-sized BBWs, would no longer find me attractive I love this man with all my heart, and my heart would break if that happened. I have been brave enough from the beginning to share my fears. Even after 8 months post-op, this sweet man constantly tells me what a sexy woman I am, and is proud of everything I have accomplished. I try to find as many opportunties I can to do the same for him. This is especially important right now as he been unemployed for a year. In the larger view, all couples experience insecurities and doubts over all kinds of things.

This is a great opportunity to grow closer through openly sharing doubts and concerns and each letting the other know how much they are loved and desired...

Comment #8

There is so many good responsed here and of course I have to add mine :).

I truely believe that if these people are breaking up, it has nothing to do with GBS, there were definately problems before hand that simply were not addressed and the couple uses this as an excuse to get out of an already bad situation..

I do think showing your man a little extra attention is always good and lots of fun too :).

I tell my husband every night that I love him and every now and then I ask him if I've told lately how much I appreciate all the love and.

Patience.

With all that I go thru and of course he says no and then I just lay it on him with more love and we go from there :).

He loves it..

Remember to keep the comunication open no matter what..

Let us know how you 2 are doing :).

Peach..

Comment #9

Like Peach said so elegantly,.

Communication.

,.

Communication.

And more.

Communication.

!!! This is the most important thing you can do right now. Assure him that he is the one true love in your life and that you don't want anyone else! Also as most have mentioned, your sex life needs to be okay too. If it is not meant to be it won't be, but put your best foot forward and try to make it last!.

Best wishes and remember to keep us posted!.

Hugs as always,.

Margaret..

Comment #10

So when I first started looking into GBS I found a surprising statistic that 70% of couples break up after the weight loss..

I told this to my fiance and we didn't say much about it..

2 years later we had our 2nd baby and discussed the option of a visectami (sp). We went to the doctor to book an appointment and my man totally froze. Wondering what the problem was I booked myself for a tubal instead. Once we were in the vehical I confronted him as to why he was suddenly changing his mind. And he said something about what if we broke up. Well I was so sad that he thought like that, and later brought it up again..

He then told me that he remembered me telling him the statistic about the GBS (which I do not go for until Dec of this year), and he was scared I would.

Leave.

Him after....

I couldn't believe he had thought about this so much, and now feel terrible for ever saying anything about the statistic..

How do I assure him that he is the one I love? I couldnt imagine leaving him for some douche bag when he is the one who has loved me all these years just the way I am, fat or not? I told him this but I could see the doubt in his eyes... Is there any happy stories out here about marriages that grew stronger after GBS? I would love to share them with him...

Comment #11

I have been married for fifteen years this June and have been with my man for even longer he has loved me...put up with me...and pissed me off through all of these years...here's the deal though...THIS IS part of life...you are always going to go through tramatic experiences with ANY new life change...my hubby has stuck with me through THICK and thin and now thinner...and hopefully even thinner soon ha ha! The point I am trying to make is this....

NO matter what we go through if there is REAL love involved and I mean the agape kind found in the Bible and other places...then there will be success...REAL, TRUE, UNconditional love is what it takes!.

Many years of happiness to you and yours! It can be done and I know if you two are truly in love as it seems, you will be just fine sweetums! :).

You take care!.

Karla~..

Comment #12

Just Medifast food for thought - I took a statistics class in college. Required.

Reading.

For this class was a book entitled "How to Lie With Statistics". It's hard to trust them, because they can be made to say what someone wants them to say..

I agree with others who have said that open, honest,.

Communication.

Is the key to a long, loving, healthy relationship. Good luck!..

Comment #13

Thank you all so much for the replies. We got rid of the kids for a night and had a really nice heart to heart. We have been together 7 years and were best friends befor that all throughout high.

School.

He is going to go for the visectami and he is very supportive of my upcoming GBS. I know things wont always be easy after ,y.

Surgery.

But like many of you I am a firm believer that if there are underlying problems in a relationship it isn't the.

Surgery.

That breaks you up..

Thanks again everyone..

Comment #14

I have been unable to locate a reliable source for.

Divorce.

Rates among GBS patients. However, general U.S..

Divorce.

Statistics can be found here:.

Http://www.divorcerate.org/.

Bottom line, any stressful situation can be hard on a marriage. This would include things like children, in-laws and GBS..

I suspect that there is a higher incidence among couples where only one goes through the procedure - however, that is just a gut feeling and so far, I have been unable to locate any factual evidence. How much higher? Probably not much higher than the already high.

Divorce.

Rate among the general population...

Comment #15

I still feel too that if the relationship was having problems before handthis would be the culprit. I don't think it's because of the GBS. I DO however feel that GBS gives people the "courage" to get out of a situation that they were struggling with in the first place, and gives them the confidence to.

Leave.

A situation that they were uncomfortable in to begin with. My husband loved me when I was skinnier....when I got fat, and now as I'm getting skinnier again. I still feel the relationships that fail already had issues before the surgeryand like I said after.

Surgery.

People get the will power and self esteem back to sayI'm worth more!!! Best of luck!!! Relationships in general take committment,.

Communication.

, and trust..

Erica..

Comment #16


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.