I would like to know the answer too. Anyone here know what is the right answer to your question. I'll do some research and get back to you if I got an good answer. You should email the people at Medifast as they probably could give you help..
I think I made this exact post a few months back. My husband and I used to do a lot of in house stuff together, tv, playing computer games, etc. He's not the social type, always been a home body, so dates and.
Arn't of interest to him either. But when I was an obese gal, that was a perfect match for me, I too was a home body and didn't care for that social scene..
After about 4 months post op, I wanted to really go out and live. I wanted to hike and walk and be outside as much as possible, but he didn't want to do any of that with me..
The conclusion I've come to is that I was the one that changed, not him, why should I expect him to all of a sudden drop the lifestyle he is used to and change what he likes and do what I want to now. So, I started doing a lot of things on my own. We haven't grown apart at all, we've got a great relationship, but we arn't buddies for every second of the day. If I want to go.
Or do whatever, I call up my niece or step sister and go do stuff with them. I have separate issues dealing with freedom and finding time, as I have three youngin's..
I'm almost a year post op now, and I think for the most part we are starting to come to a balance. We don't hike together, but we go for drives in the woods and mountains. He likes shooting, so while we're out there he shoots the gun, and I walk around the trails with my kids. We haven't done that in a while due to weather, but that's how we worked it out last summer..
Its easier said than done sometimes. But I know it's not healthy to stop being me, or even to stop myself from being me or stop doing the things I enjoy just because my husband or others don't want to join in..
I know it's scary, but you too need to stand on your own, and do all those things you want to do, regardless of if your husband joins in or not. Don't neglect him of course or pull away or become resentfull. He will watch you from afar and our men do need time to get to know the new us too as we get to know our new selves..
For my husband is that he will see me enjoying myself and be more attracted to want to participate, but if he never does, that's ok too..
Wish you the best!!!..
A response to this about 3 times now, and each time start rambling......
I'm 15 months out...and have a great relationship, been with him for over 6 years. (through thick...and working on the thin part..lol).
Its impossible to explain why/how things work for us....except to say we communicate....
I'm not a yeller, or screamer...and am very clear/forward about what I want from life and from him and he too is willing to state his needs/wants (usually with a little prompting) He knows what I like...and I what he likes..
And compromise are possible....to be honest..I think were growing closer..
P.S. Congrats on dropping the weight!!..
I posted similar sentiments yesterday. I feel ya. For me, the risk of his early death and the major challenges his health present as he searches for work are the worst part. We have no plans to split, but it is really hard. I think sexual issues and not being able to find work will ultimately be what motivates change. Meanwhile, I cope by continuing on my own journey of growth and self-improvement (a lifelong task for any adult), keeping current with my support system, and taking really good care of myself so the constant stress does not pull me off balance...
I am 2yrs out, he was suppose to have.
, backed out, made my life a living hell up to dropping me off at the hospital, now he is reconsidering. this is a huge struggle, esp since he needs this done to him. dont get me wrong I am and will be his biggest cheerleader helping him with every step, the problem is he doesnt like the new happier, confident, smaller me. I love the gym, go 5 days a week, I walk daily and try to eat healthy, he will often say, see now you r a fanatic at the gym all the time, or you dont even enjoy eating anymore and I say gym fanatic can never be bad and I eat, plenty but just make healthier choices, he is so afraid he will miss the crap he now enjoys. he doesnt like the male attention I attract and goes nuts when I have to.
For business trips. I often wonder why do I bother, he is such a downer but I have to remind myself of the hell I lived with being so overweight and he was always there for me (probably happier he didnt have to feel threatened) but never insulted me. we will be celebrating 30 yrs together soon and i.
And pray he gets this done, gets healthy and HAPPY, bec if he doesnt I dont know if I can keep this up. it's not uncommon and I guess it comes down to "for better or for worse", good luck..